When I first started my blog, I lived with this sweet and innocent 5 year old. She was funny, enthusiastic, cleaned her room if I asked and did absolutely anything I said…. Fast forward to now, 7 years later and I live with a pre-teen who basically thinks she lives in a hostel.
I’ve been thinking long and hard about what living with a pre-teen is like and let me tell you here are the top 12 things that happen on a daily basis.
- They wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Every. Single. Morning.
- They have no off switch for when they should just shut up and listen. I mean, they have an absolute answer for EVERYTHING!
- They can make your house go from a palace with sparkling floors turn into a grotty looking student pad in 0.2 seconds.
- They use every single plate, pot, pan and piece of cutlery you own when making a sandwich… A SANDWICH!
- Damp towels EVERYWHERE.
- No sense of timekeeping, you tell them 7:30 sure enough they roll through the door at 8:00. This is always followed by some lame excuse that everyone’s phone battery died so she didn’t know what the time was. This is so unrealistic as these kids live by their phones and take power banks and phone chargers out.
- USES ALL OF MY STUFF. I’m talking make up, hair care, hairdryer, straighteners, shoes and bags. She has her own but sure enough my stuff is always looking more appealing to her.
- Everything and I mean absolutely everything, is my fault. She misses the bus – I didn’t get her up early enough. Loses her keys – I didn’t put them somewhere she could find them. Doesn’t do her homework – I didn’t check her ‘show my homework’. Friend isn’t at home and she has no one to go out with – I obviously took said friend far away and made them not be at home that day. You get the gist.
- Anything and everything I make for dinner is ‘disgusting’ ‘non edible’ or weirdly enough she is ‘allergic’ to it. Even though the child has absolutely no allergies what so ever.
- SNAPCHAT! The child snapchats all the time, literally can’t get through to her unless you send her a snap to ask her something.
- Selective hearing. This is a major one, I could say “Tapanga, I need to go to the shops and won’t be back until around 7. Do you have your keys to get in or should I leave you mine?”. She hears “Tapanga, I am dragging you shopping and am never allowing you to step foot out of the door for all eternity. You are now my prisoner and can have no contact with the outside world again”. This results in an utter meltdown, crying and screaming that I have made all her friends hate her because she wont ever be allowed out the house ever again.
- Excessive noise. Whether it be that bloody music she listens to, the loud phone conversations, the loud instagram lives, the slamming the doors or the screaming at the top of her voice because we live in a mansion and you have to shout just so we can hear. There is always, always excessive noise.
I’ve realised that I’ve turned into my mother a bit in this post, although I swear I was never as bad as this when I was younger… Maybe because we didn’t have mobile phones and social media.
If anyone needs me, I shall be found rocking in the corner drinking a bottle of prosecco and hiding from the world.